Move out of my parents'...again! - 4/30 DONE!

Ohhhhh it's been manic, but I've done it. I've moved to the city that for years I was convinced I'd never want to live. London!

When I applied for the job that brought me here I was feeling extremely adventurous and happy-go-lucky...and the more trips I made to London during the recruitment process the more confident I became about spending time here and ultimately living here. And I realised I've actually got quite a good social circle in London, something that in my line of work you need. Well I think it's fair to say you need it in any line of work; that was something that was missing towards the end of my previous career and as I became more miserable in my work life I lacked people to turn to over a pot of tea or bottle of wine. Ultimatey I think that the lack of support I had around me just amplified the misery I was experiencing at work. Looking back maybe it was for the best, after all, if my work related misery had been subdued then I may have stayed there longer and my life wouldn't be as exciting as it is today! 

Anyway, I digress! I've moved out of my parents house (again), left my home town (again) and moved to The Big Smoke!

I'm currently in staff accommodation just while I find my feet and while it's almost like being back in halls (less parties I'm glad to report) it's OK for now. My room is spacious enough for everything I crammed into the car but the facilities are really basic, to my horror there's no wifi and haven't even got a signal from the likes of BT or O2 cloud...at times I do wonder if I'm a really in London! But I'll be moving again so it's fine for now.

The task was to move out of my parents' house and while I've achieved that I've not found a home yet...but that will be rectified in the next month or two :)

Graduate - DONE

Well there have been times I thought this day would never come. It has been a long journey with a good measure of turbulence along the way and occasions I was tempted to go back to my old life in retal...but a larger measure of excitement, happiness and fond memories. And I'm very happy that I stuck it out, completed this degree to become a midwife!

Today was graduation. It was lovely to see my cohort and catch up in person rather than facebook, most of them have already started their jobs; throughout our course we'd share stories of our placements "this happened, then that, and that other thing was kinda scary,but OMG this other thing was soooooooo amazing!" And those exact same conversations were aplenty today.

 
I was told by a wise midwife, that soon after they became a NQM they had been reassured by an even wiser midwife. Jobs like this are like learning to drive; the real learning begins after you've passed your test and you start flying solo. So I am just going to keep telling myself that and constantly remind myself that when I first drove after passing my test I was terrified, I made errors, I learnt from those errors, I stalled all the time, took ages at junctions and hill starts and used to always ask for help/direction with parking. But now I'm a very good driver and a great parker who advises my sister on how to maneuver the car into tricky spaces from odd angles. I still stall sometimes but it's OK.

So no matter how often I stall as a NQM, it won't happen forever and I WILL get to the point where I'm helping and advising future NQMs.

I just wish I'd realised sooner that I'd be graduating from the University of Slytherin!!!!

Next on the list - Move!

the big build up

I've not deserted my blog, promise.
It's been a mix of things recently, had the worst and longest cold imaginable which put me in hibernation mode. Further delays with starting work so I've been getting poorer and poorer and more frustrated twiddling my thumbs and crazier with cabin fever and boredom. But it's all about to kick into place...or start to at least.
In the next fortnight I'll be graduating, moving to London and starting my new job. So it'll soon be all go! Things are about to get intersting :)

5 Random Acts of Kindness - Number 1

I was given this bag as a first year student midwife by my niece at Christmas. I was overjoyed she'd bought it for me as I'd seen it online months prior, liked it but hadn't purchased it and regretted it. So a bag, a fairly normal tote bag, I was as giddy as...well, a child at Christmas lol! And this bag came to uni with me, digging into my shoulder as I hauled around the likes of Mayes' Midwifery (one of the bibles for midwifery students). And stuffed to the brim during placements with food, personal learning logs, lighter textbooks, uniform and the sexiest orthopedic-looking shoes imaginable. This bag was almost always with me.

When I finished my training I figured it's time to shed the L plate. I was a bit sad, I love this bag and shared my sorrow on various social media platforms that it was time to stop using it. And someone got in contact asking where I got the bag from, they were about to start their midwifery degree and said they LOVE this bag and need this bag. Well there was only one thing to do. I sent the bag to them, this inconspicuous bag can see another midwifery student survive the hard, long slog of three years with L plates!

The spinster!

This tweet came up on my twitter feed and really made me laugh. 

The town I live in is almost 10 years behind the times! I tell people I don't have kids and their response is either of surprise or "Oh, I'm sorry." I don't need an apology or the tone of pity in your voice, my baby-maker isn't broken...well I've no indication to make me think it is. I was once told by a midwife I know that it's easy enough, I don't need a man in my life but I should crack on and get my head out of the clouds waiting for love! This was a rare occasion I found myself speechless. 

I've been asked so many times why am I still single, don't I want a family, am I the other way inclined?! My answers are I don't know, yes, no but why does it matter?! 

As Kelly's tweet suggests, times have changed and in most forward thinking places it's perfectly acceptable to be 30, career focused but still want a family. Just as it's equally as acceptable to be settled and secure with family life.  Whatever you choose just make sure you're happy! 

P.S. Happy 30th Birthday Kelly Osbourne 🎂🎁🎉, welcome to the club, it's pretty cool! 

Find employment - DONE!

This is a particularly exciting one for me :)

I've been a full-time, mature student for the last four years...well we could debate the 'mature' element but we'd be here all day! As I've mentioned before I had a quarter-life crisis. I was 25, living in Liverpool, some close friendships ended, the guy I was seeing called it a day and I was miserable at work. What was initially a summer job at the age of 16 in a department store became a part-time job which supported me through uni, then a full time job after I graduated from my first degree, a bit of ladder climbing and all of a sudden I received an email informing me that I was approaching a significant anniversary, well done for dedicating 10 years of service to the company! And the longer I was there the more I wished I wasn't. I was stressed, lonely, often surviving on a shoe string and it all got a bit much and I had a bit of a breakdown. I was suffering with depression, I've had episodes in the past but this was overwhelming. A month off work, returned to my family, spent a week in bed and then with so much support from family and friends I did some soul searching. I knew I needed to leave that company but I was so fragile I didn't want to just find another job where I'd soon be just as miserable, this was the time where I actually had to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Most of us are in the position where we work to live, not live to work. Work is what drags us from our beds, keeps us from our homes and means we have to spend time away from our loved ones...although work is often a welcome break from said loved ones! As work is the most time consuming element of our working life I knew I had to find a career that excited me, challenged me and I could be passionate about. I wanted something where no two days would be the same.

One of my sisters planted the initial seed of Midwifery, it intrigued me. My other sister put me in contact with someone who was then training to be a midwife. The more I learnt about the profession the more I wanted to know, the more I knew the more excited I got and ultimately, the more I was sure this was the path for me! The day I handed my notice in, I literally felt a weight lifted. All the tension in my neck and headaches went, the stress melted, the misery was relieved.

Despite what most people think, midwifery isn't actually about babies...well it is, but babies are just a small fraction of what the job is all about. Pregnancy is about growing a baby, and birth is about the arrival of a new baby but midwifery is about women. For women, their lives revolve around the child they are growing. And the midwife is there for the woman, not so much the baby. Supporting women, caring for them, assisting them, empowering them. And when I figured that out, that's when I knew midwifery was for me. It's bloody hard graft and I'm sure most people have seen all the media about recent industrial action over pay because so few seem to appreciate just how hard the work is. And from the midwives I know, they love it so won't stop but just want and deserve more recognition and appreciation, isn't that deserved for everyone in the NHS? Anyway, I digress.

So, midwifery. I went back to college, then I went back to uni for 3 of the most challenging years of my life. But I've made it. I've completed my training and got myself a First Class Degree with Honours and then the job hunt commenced. I trained at a small unit in the north-west and decided a while ago that I wanted to complete my first year as a Newly Qualified Midwife (NQM) in a larger, busier unit. So I applied, and I was invited for three interviews all with very different and very daunting assessment formats. And then I received three job offers. It was a tough decision for a variety of reasons and lots of lists and pros and cons were written and deliberated and then I made a choice, finally. I'm really quite indecisive. I chose a maternity unit in London, that's going to expose me to so many new experiences.

I've been waiting for aaaaaggggggeeeeeessssss for all the paperwork pre-employment stuff to be sorted and today the final thing has been confirmed. So now I'm just waiting to hear when HR can fit me into an induction course then I'll be heading south to the big smoke!

I've been so excited but now it's all going ahead I'm terrified. I cannot wait to receive my first pay. I am ridiculously excited to assist the first baby into the world as an official Registered Midwife. But it is terrifying because I've spent the last three years learning by experience under close watch and direction from some marvelous midwives. And although I know I'll have a lot of support as a NQM and I need to take some pressure off myself, I'm still so so nervous.

But for this list, that's the first thing achieved. I have a job, all the checks have been processed, all that's left to do is find out a start date and move.

So a NQM in my 30th year, another reason this year is so significant.

Start and maintain a skincare regime

This probably seems a bit of a pathetic one, or at least a very girly one. Let's face it - no pun intended - it is a very girly thing. But a couple of my tasks/challenges are about looking after myself a bit better. I've always washed, removed make-up, dabbed on some moisturiser and put on the occasional face mask but that's it. So I decided my face needs a bit more TLC as my biggest organ ages more visibly than any of the others!
To celebrate my 30th birthday me and 7 of my favourite girls went for a short spa break at The Woodland Spa in Burnley and had a divine time with lots of sparkling drinks, cocktails, great food and an amazing day recovering in the spa...with a few more cocktails and glasses of Prosecco. I had an amazing hot stone massage and facial. To my surprise the beautician told me my skin was dehydrated, on reflection this may have been a result of the excessive alcohol consumed that week but I had always thought my skin was very dry. Anyway, leaving the spa my face felt as soft as a peach and virtually flawless - despite being hungover!
So that was when I decided I had to start putting my self-care intentions into practice. To be honest I'm not going to bore you with the science or attempt to advise on what brands are better etc. So in a nutshell I love Lush and Body Shop both for their ethical stances and their products and I own a wide selection from both brands. I particularly love the Body Shop's vitamin E range...I popped in, discussed my skin with a sales advisor and purchased the cleanser, toner and moisturising sorbet - the latter being a definite new favourite of mine, it's fabulous!
And I started using them daily and still am! Well almost! It's strange but cleansing, toning and moisturising is quite a commitment, which was unexpected and a wee bit time consuming. But I've actually found I enjoy it, it's almost like a little daily pampering session and thus far, my skin is in bloody good condition.
I read that if you perform an action on 21 consecutive days then that's when it becomes part of your routine. A habit. So this is one challenge that I think is safe to say is embedded in my life, it's now a firm part of my routine in the evening. My skin feels and looks better, well to me it does, which in turn makes me smile and ultimately I feel better about myself, a little less self conscious and a little more confident. Crazy, in an attempt to reduce blotches and blemishes I've improved my self confidence. That's a good thing, isn't it?

Complete a 365 challenge

I've attempted these challenges before and to no avail. So for it to be successful this time a) I had to commit b) it had to be realistic. Things like exercise every day....well I wouldn't get through the first week! So it had to be something I enjoy and something that takes conscious effort but not a lot of exertion. So to stimulate my creativity I decided to snap a photo a day. While I've always been quite a snap-happy kinda person it's usually a case of being somewhere special and taking millions of photographs just for a perfect few, I've never really photographed things on a daily basis, despite my iphone living in the palm of my hand! Things always catch my eye and make me smile so now I've decided to capture things for the whole year that I am 30. I decided to use Instagram to log my picturesque year with. While there are additional photos the ones that relate to this challenge have #day... These are things that have made me laugh, smile, have significance, show where I've been, what I've done or things I just think are beautiful. Obviously as it's a 365 challenge it won't get crossed off my list until my next birthday, gulp!
Here's a taster...

#day3 cupcakes I baked for my birthday spa break with the girls

#day42 some street art that caught my eye on a walk

#day50 was sat under this in a pub

#day62 family day out at Tarn Hows 

THE LIST

So here's my list in no particular order. Some of them are things I've wanted to do for ages, some are things I really should be doing already, most of them are intended to encourage me to make an effort (or more of an effort); do something out of my comfort zone...that can only be a good thing right? Well here's hoping!

1 - Be in a TV audience - DONE
Well this just seems like something fun and exciting. Seeing behind the scenes and maybe even getting on the little screen myself!

2 - Start dating again - DONE
I've done a fair bit of dating. My dating stories have amused friends endlessly; from the 29 year old guy who's Mum wouldn't let him on a stag night incase he got led astray to the guy who went shopping between courses at a meal. Honestly, true story!
My last relationship ended the day before my 29th birthday...I'd basically been let down too many times and listening to more excuses on the phone I realised a) I'd have a better birthday without him b) life would be happier without him. So I said enough is enough. And while I've flirted, been bought drinks and had the occasional sneaky kiss since then, I've not actively sought any male attention. That last relationship had worn me out, I needed to focus on myself for a while. And that time of my life already had a lot of important demands, I was a third year student on a very demanding vocational degree which I needed to focus on. But that's done with now and I deserve some fun again ;)

3 - Visit a Buddhist temple
I've visited other places of worship and the calmness of Buddhism appeals to me.

4 - Deactivate my Facebook account for a month
I do not know what I did before facebook! ...well actually I do, it was called MySpace! But I'm of the generation who grew up just as social media was born so I'm not sure what life would be like without it. And I'm addicted, I'm lost without my phone and forever on FB, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram, Pinterest to name a few, I'm so addicted I even wrote my Midwifery dissertation on social media! YES, there is a link and I got a first ;)
FB is definitely the main drain on my time and phone battery! And I'm curious what life would be like without it. Curious and terrified!

5 - Go to a live sporting event
Never done it. Not that into sports but I do recognise that the atmosphere at any live event is electric. And sporting events have a higher electrical charge because there's something to be won, or lost!

6 - Start a skincare regime - COMMENCED (ongoing)
Well I'm not getting any younger and 30 seems a good age to accept I'm a real grown up and have to behave as such....

PPPPAAAAHAHAHAHAHA yeah, I couldn't even keep a straight face as I typed that!

7 - See Les Miserables on stage
I adore stage shows and musicals and Les Mis is one that I've always adored. I've not seen it before but became familiar with the score during GCSE Music and have adored it since. I NEED to see it live!

8 - Complete 5 random acts of kindness - 2/5
No. 1
No. 2
The world needs a little more kindness and I believe in karma so if I send out a little more kindness then maybe it'll all come back around.

9 - Go to a bar alone
A strange one I know but this more about having the confidence to actually be somewhere that is generally for social gatherings and be content with my own company. I can happily go to cafes on my own but to me, a woman going to a bar alone can hold connotations that she either has a drink problem or has been stool up. I want to get over my own prejudices with this one.

10 - Play/dance in the rain
Such fun!

11 - Write about my first RM catch
So I'm just finishing up my Midwifery degree, then I'll be a registered midwife (RM) and us midwives don't deliver babies (we leave the pizza boys on mopeds to do deliveries). We catch babies in our hands that women have birthed into the world. And the first catch as a RM will be one I want to remember.

12 - Start a new habit that's good for the soul - STARTED
Looking after yourself isn't just about following the green cross code when crossing the road or eating healthy food. It's about holistic well-being, so I want to look after that part of my life too.

13 - Do Go-Ape
Swinging through the trees like a cheeky monkey, what could be more fun!

14 - Graduate - DONE
As mentioned I'm coming close to the end of my degree. While this one is kind of a sure thing at this stage, graduating at 30 has been a goal I've been working towards for over 4 years now. It's a long time coming and definitely worthy of this list.

15 - Climb a mountain
I'm from Cumbria...I don't think I've ever climbed a mountain. I'm not delusional, I only want to get to the peak of a smallish mountain...I'll save Ben Nevis for my 40th!

16 - Complete a 365 challenge - COMMENCED (ongoing)
Do something every day for the first year of being 30.

17 - Host a vintage afternoon tea
I love baking, I love hosting, I love afternoon tea...so I'm gonna do it all

18 - Treat my family to dinner out
My nearest and dearest consist of 8 adults, 1 teenager, 1 child and 1 toddler. We're a big group and they've all got me through a lot and I want to thank them collectively.

19 - Complete a colour run
I don't do running, but if I did then I'd want it to be fun and wild and bright and merry.

20 - Lose 28lbs - 13 down, 15 to go
Ties in with the whole 'start looking after myself theme'.

21 - Find employment - DONE
Graduating is one thing. But it's no good having a vocational degree if I then don't put it to some use and prove that the last 4 years of student life has been worth it.

22 - Move out of my parent's house...again! - DONE
They've sacraficed a lot in their retirement to support me in my life choices and I'm eternally gratefully. But dear God, I cannot wait to move out and feel like a grown up again! I've spent too much time recently thinking "I sound like 17 year old me again, STOP IT!"

23 - Visit a new country
Travel broadens the mind. I love travelling but have not done enough by far. So I need another pin on the map this year!

24 - Fly in a small aircraft
I've got over my fear of flying but I'm curious how I'd cope in a small aircraft. And why do small aircrafts seem that much more flimsy?

25 - Register with a dentist, make an appointment and go!
I'm a wuss when it comes to dentists. I had a lot of dental work when I was younger including operations and braces. I dreaded going to the dentist and the day my last set of braces were removed felt like freedom! And since then I've rarely been. I've not been registered or had a check up for a few years. I did have to attend an emergency dentist a little while ago and he was lovely when he realised my tears were from anxiety not pain. But like every thing else, I really do need to start taking more care of myself and that includes my gnashers!

Begin at the beginning

Hi, I'm Jo.
I recently turned 30 and I know a lot of people who completed a "30 things to do by 30" challenge but I've opted for something slightly different.
As we approach the ripe old age of THIRTY we feel this is one of the most significant milestones in our lives. Well, at least I did, as did many of my friends...and some friends who are now on that approach are feeling a little trepidation. Many of us feel that we should have achieved certain things in life by the time we reach this landmark and 30 is the age where we are confirmed adults. We've learnt from the turbulence of our teens and through our twenties life has settled and we've become independent and more secure of who we are as individuals.
When I was 18 I sat in the halls at university with my room-mate making our own lists of things we WILL achieve in the next 12 years (our bucket list before we got old!): be ridiculously successful in whatever career I had chosen (I was somewhat directionless), own at least one property, spend 6 months travelling, be published and 26 other things that never came to fruition. Actually that's a lie, I was published a few months before I turned the big three-oh!
While my young-person-bucket-list had got lost there were certain things I had clung onto. As I grew up a bit more I still hoped to be on the property ladder and have started a family by 30. But as we know, life; God; fate; whatever you want to call it had a different idea. My quarter-life-crisis happened and before I knew it I was fast approaching 30 single, as a full-time NHS student living back with my parents surviving off a student loan and bursary! And while these last few years of my twenties have been an incredibly exciting adventure my 29th year sent me into a bit of a panic, this decade was ending exactly as it had started - single, a student, dependent upon my parents, a measly student income and my most valuable possessions being my laptop and mobile phone!
I was able to calm myself in the knowledge that this stagnant decade was soon over, I constantly reminded myself that 30 is the year that everything WILL change. Completing my Midwifery degree shortly after my 30th birthday being the inevitable catalyst which meant I'd graduate, I'd be employed, I'd be leaving my home town (for a second time), I'd be getting an income and could live like a grown up again...but this time it will be better!
And as circumstances meant that I couldn't complete a 30-by-30 challenge, and that my 30th year was already set to be an interesting one I decided to create a list of 30 things I will achieve as a 30 year old. 30 at Thirty.
So, welcome!
This is the start (although slightly late - punctuality has never been a strong characteristic of mine).

So my 30s began and I've no idea when I set this reminder on my phone but it made me laugh when I woke up which is surely a good way to start a new decade, well I'm taking it as a good omen lol! And I created my list. There are still gaps, so suggestions are welcome. And I know some tasks could be considered cheating as they're inevitable for this year, such as graduating, but for me this list is about achievements as well as challenges, but feel free to leave a comment and dispute any.
Here's to a turning point in my life, a fresh decade, a new start and a year full of excitement, fun, terror and everything in between. Feel free to join me. Cheers!